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Polite notice: If you (the reader) is a strong follower of religion and god, and does not like to objectively think and debate on certain issues, please stop and do not read the following. I do not mean to offend any individual or group of individuals when I write this. This is a personal blog, and I am merely exercising my right to freedom of thought and speech. I am not liable or responsible for any conclusions or actions drawn out by reading the following text.
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Deep in the middle of my Easter holiday, I find myself sitting at a PC wondering what to do and then I remembered a conversation I had while chatting with a good friend of mine. We were discussing religion and atheism. Before I go into what we were talking about, let me copy paste an extract from dictionary.com for those who do not know the meaning of the word "Atheist".

a·the·ist
n.
One who disbelieves or denies the existence of God or gods.

I have been brought up by a family which is religious. They do believe in god, and pray to god every day. Just to clarify, my parents aren't backwards in the way they think and act just because they are religious. That is an incorrect conclusion that some people reach, and they often tend to mix religiousness with backwardness. Both my parents are doctors and post-graduates, and toppers in their age (unlike their son).

So what about me?

I was religious many years ago, but have been an atheist for a long while. Why do I deny the existence of god? Am I just being rebellious? Do I think that I do not need god? No, nothing like that. It had been very hard for me to erase these beliefs from my mind, but I succeeded via will power. I would not call myself a scientist, but I do come from a strong scientific background and have studied in the ways of science and technology all of my life. From primary school, all the way to university, I have been surrounded by the ever increasing grasp of technology. And I have been fascinated by technology and have always tried to learn how things work and displayed an extensive interest in the world of computers. Although I am no super-specialist in any one field of computers and technology, I have always loved the way programming teaches you to think logically, formulate algorithms and reach conclusions based on solid facts. Logic is a wonderful thing, and the ability to reason is too. Coming from someone who strongly believes in logic and facts, how can I accept the existence of a greater entity titled God? A god that overlooks everyone and everything, controlling people's fate and destiny? And even if I did believe in such a greater god, which religion would I follow? Which holy book would I believe? Should I give into what my family has taught me even though every pulse of thought that flows through my body tells me it is wrong? To turn into an atheist wasn't a decision which was made on impulse. The whole theory of god had been disturbing me for a long time and it took a great amount of discipline and discomfort to finally realize and state to myself that I did not believe in this overrated (personal opinion) entity.

So here I am. The only atheist in the family, a super minority. Do I regret thinking this way? Not a tiny bit. I am proud to be able to think independently and reach an informed conclusion instead of blindly following what was preached to me. I do not like how people pretend to be someone they aren't. Such people put on a mask and try to blend into society, trying to please others and trying to be "one of them". The greatest property about being 'someone' is that you are unique. Why lose what you really are by trying to be like everyone else? Another dislike of mine is people's arrogance. How they blindly believe in a certain event or happening (not necessarily religious) without fact to back up their theory, and also how they refuse to listen out and become completely resistant to change. [Off topic: don't worry, I am not just listing all of my dislikes, I am mentioning few facts about me which relate to the main content of this post.]

Now back to the conversation I was having with this good friend of mine. This friend of mine is a religious person, and I was telling him how I felt about god in general and how I am an atheist. He seemed convinced that I was not an atheist and was only blabbering stuff. He began asking me questions, the first of which was whether or not I believe in good and bad. I responded by saying that I did believe in good and bad entities, whether it be an action or a person. The terms good and bad are too generic to not believe in such a basic concept. He then asked me whether I believed in stealing or committing a certain crime. I told him that there was nothing to 'believe' in, and I would never steal or commit such crimes as such acts aren't respectable or honest in the society in which we live. His immediate response was "Aha!", and he drew out the conclusion that I was indeed religious since his god too preaches the difference between good and bad and how theft and other such crimes are 'bad'. I was shocked at the sheer inability of this friend of mine to think logically and to stupidly draw such relations. I tried to explain to him that believing in moral values such as honesty and not stealing have absolutely nothing to do with following a certain religion and a certain god or group of gods. The reverse of this, however, may be true as some religions might preach honesty in their holy books. But believing in a moral value does NOT make you a religious follower of any holy book which preaches the same. My friend still remained convinced that I was religious and I changed the subject realizing that it is futile to try and speak logic into someone who isn't willing to think and discuss with an open mind.

Is it really that bad? Is it really that incomprehensible? Why can someone not believe in the existence of god? I have seen deep followers of Christianity drop jaws when I tell them that I do not believe in god. I do not impose atheism on other people and respect their beliefs, and hope for them to respect mine (not expect them to). I believe that it is very important to be open-minded and consider every aspect of a situation before reaching a conclusion or forming a judgment. Yet I know a lot of people who have a closed mind-set and always try to speak from their roots (so to say) rather than listening out and trying to understand the other person's point of view. I pity such people, as they are incapable of seeing the beauty of freedom of thought, and more importantly freedom of converting one's most earnest thoughts to reality. I am fortunate to have modern and open-minded parents who have always pushed me towards what I truly believe and have helped me on numerous occasions. I am also fortunate to be surrounded by many friends who are also open-minded and there to look out for one another. On the other hand, I dare not try and explain my points of view to my grandparents (my paternal grandfather being an exception as he is very receptive when it comes to others' opinions) as the purpose of doing so will be void with their beliefs planted firmly to the ground. Oh well, to each his own. Everyone is who they are, and regardless of how they act on the outside - the real person is actually he/she who does not let stimuli or his/her surrounding entities affect his/her true beliefs. One of the many reasons why I enjoy university life so much is because I am surrounded by people with open mindsets and modern ways of thinking, people who do not shut their eyes to fact. And about roughly 3-4 years ago, many more years after growing into technology and thinking logically, I decided that I... am an atheist.

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Gaurav Verma, 16 March 2005.

07th March, evening time:

I was pretty much sleep deprived, had slept for only 3 hours in the past 2 days. I finally made it to the coach station in Manchester Chorlton Street and sat down in the back seat. I was surprised to find the coach so full at that time, it was then past 1 AM.

08th March, morning:

Those four and a half hours to London Victoria were horrible, I couldn't sleep one bit because of low leg space in the coach (hence I was forced to sit in an uncomfortable posture). I took a taxi from the Victoria coach station to Heathrow airport, terminal 4 - which cost me a nice 30 quid. Having reached Heathrow at 6 AM, I realized that I had to wait till 8:30 AM before I could even check in, and the airport was far too noisy even at that time to be able to nap for the wait. So there I was, sitting for two and a half hours with red eyes feeling absolutely knackered, and when I was finally able to check in, I had to wait ANOTHER 3 hours till 11:30 before being able to board the plane. I was nearing death at this stage. I finally got on the plane, and fell asleep before it even took off only to be woken up by the taking off video and the stewardess offering drinks and food. One thing I must hand to British Airways, is that they are always prompt and offer good quality service. It's a shame none of their staff members know how to smile though. . .

08th March, mid-day:

I slept a bit, saw Bridget Jones 2 on the plane, and slept again. The flight was somewhat pleasant and I finally reached my destination after the 8+ hour long flight. Good to be in a place where I can finally hit the sack and go to sleep. Good night.

Holiday FTW

Lets see now, it's 4:15 AM as I type this and I'm somewhat in a panic-stricken state. Why? Procastination. What the hell am I talking about? I'm leaving for a holiday (if you can call it that, reasons not disclosed) from the 8th to 30th March 2005. So I will not be in the country for a good three weeks, missing two weeks of lectures at which I am far from pleased. I have known about this trip for more than a week, and it is now less than 24 hours before I take the coach to London to catch the flight - and I still haven't even begun packing. It suddenly hit me that I better get my ass in gear or else I will be in hot water. Once I am back, I will need to do a lot of catching up in order to not mess up this semester. So yea, holiday for the win! >:(~

On another more positive note, my arms aren't sore anymore \o/! It sure feels good to be able to stretch around, and I think I will go on another small training session with Steve today after I've done my packing and sorted out what I need to before my trip.

Enchanted Bed

I think the bed in my room is enchanted. What the flip am I on about? Well, I didn't mean that my bed is literally enchanted, just that it makes anyone who lies on it fall asleep very quickly. I was playing some World of Warcraft the other day, and my flatmate Steve was sitting on my bed watching the game and he just dosed off in minutes. This has happened twice. Yes, twice. Last night, Steve was giving WoW a shot on my computer and Sarah was lying down on my bed and she fell asleep in a few minutes as well. When I started thinking about it, I couldn't recall a single incident of me having a rough sleepless night on my bed. Wierd, isn't it? I should put up a sign above my bed, which reads:

"Beware, do not approach my bed if you like remaining conscious!"

. . .

Okay, I am dying today. My arm muscles (don't even know what this particular muscle is called, the one next to the elbow towards my hands) are aching like hell. Yesterday, I had the fortune of going gym training with my flatmate Stephen Cooper for the first time (first time with him, that is). Let me give a bit of history on Steve first. He's the kind of guy you do NOT want to fight with. He's the kind of guy who trains with 100+ KG's of weights just for his biceps, and his biceps seem bigger than most people's heads. He has been in the Royal Army and has been training in physical fitness (different sports and martial arts) since he was 11. So yea, he's one of those badass guys you never want to confront even with an army. Don't get me wrong, he's a great person and a good friend of mine, but perhaps I should have waited a bit before going gym training with him. . .

We spent three hours in the gym, starting with the usual 1 hour of warming up (cross trainer, inclined treadmill, and various exercises) which went very smoothly. But after that, came 2 hours of various weights training. Good god, that man has no mercy - I was pushed way over what an average person could handle. When I finally got home, I felt quite rejuvinated and thought to myself, "Let's do this again!". My sentiments don't exactly match this morning though, I was woken up by severe pain in my arms and this blog entry itself has taken me 15 minutes to type down (with me being a very fast typer...). Just taken a tablet of paracetamol, god help me the next session I have with Steve.

Righty then, a few weeks ago we had a nice little tequila party. We were upstairs in the DF flat at Grosvenor Residences with all of my mates and some other people. At about 3 AM after we returned from the club, someone offered to shave my head off. Not knowing any better, I said "Sure!" and the rest was... well think of a kitchen full of pasta on the floor, hair on the table, and a couple of lads and lasses lying around here and there. The majority of my new "army cut" was given to me by a friend called Emily, and she seemed to enjoy every moment of shaving off an innocent lad's precious head off -_-.

Either way, I've come to quite like this hair style and got it trimmed again today. No, I am not bald - but I do keep the length of my hair quite short. I've found that this is quite useful in martial arts as well, since I was told by my instructor, in a probably light-hearted way, that having short hair stops the opponent from grabbing your hair! That was the least of my concerns when I decided to keep my new army cut for good, I just like how it looks and I am personally quite happy with the outcome. Not to say that tequila and turbo shandies are any good, of course. :-)