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So... the last post on this blog was over a year ago. Why exactly do people blog? I've seen so many people attempting to blog and then fail to post in it regularly. And now I can add myself to that list. In my opinion, most people who blog are looking for something in return, mostly attention or feedback. Why blog if no one's going to read your stuff, eh? Well I was different, I wanted to record my thoughts and opinions in the form of a web journal so that I could come back to it some day and read through it myself, to see how I've changed over the years and to reminisce old times. Old times, as described by me, in my own style of writing. So many people try to use fancy words while authoring certain text, but I guess that's the difference between published material and casual blogs.

So am I going to summarize my last year to make up for lost time on this blog? Hell no, the past year and a half contain events I want to forget, rather than recall later in my life. But even so, why didn't I write here for so long? After doing some soul searching, the answer is easy... lazyness and escapism. I'm lazy, mostly when it comes to things that don't interest me. But blogging and writing about my life is interesting, no? It's true that many times in the past year and a half, my head has been filled with things I have wanted to put down to paper, but then the other reason for me not writing kicked in, escapism. I knew that if I wrote about my casual activities, I would have to account for them at some point. I was running... from myself.

Here's something more about me, I'm eccentric by nature and I'm an individualist. Why exactly am I those, though? No one is -born- a certain way, and as I have mentioned before in previous entries on this blog, I certainly don't believe in destiny or fate. I'm not exactly sure if the personality that a person develops into is inherited in any form via genes, but I do know that it's a direct consequence of the course that person takes in his or her life. I've been thinking a lot about -why- a person is who he is, or to go deeper and be more specific, why a characteristic trait exists within a person. If I were to forget about myself for a moment, and just think, "Why is Mr ABC an individualist?", I could come up with many possible theories. But in context to myself, perhaps I crave recognition on a bigger scale, perhaps I lack an identity that I so desperately want, perhaps I do things differently because I want to stand out? Am I really that attention seeking? I don't like to think so, but sometimes people close to you can tell you things about yourself that you were too blind to notice in the first place. Blinded by one's own thoughts... To be open is to be human, we might as well be wild animals if we live by our own or other people's pre-conceived notions. Everyone has a choice, a choice to be different and to be who he/she really wants to be. Decisions which aren't made on open terms with an open mind after having considered various factors logically, aren't really decisions in the first place... they are dictated conclusions. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as for many people the entity dictating the decision may be professionalism, religion, social duty, or other such considerations. The world revolves at a steady pace, dictated by such norms, and who am I to try and change anything? What right does anyone have to think differently? The answer: every damn right in the world. We wouldn't need politics or leaders if people were actually capable of living their lives the way they wanted to peacefully, we wouldn't need rules if people were capable of respecting each other and had open minds. But sadly, we do. We need leaders, we need boundaries, we need politics, we need media. We are like sheep being herded by the shepherd, most of whom are incapable of answering to themselves. Absolution isn't the answer, self-realisation and making informed decisions is.

Heh... see what I mean when I say I'm an escapist? This entry was meant to be about me, and as usual my thoughts have wandered away from myself and onto the general public. Why do I always look at the philosophical side of things, why do I always address global issues rather than those which are sewn deep within my head? It takes strong will to answer to yourself, but even stronger still to do something about why you had to in the first place. And I'm afraid I'm just not strong enough... yet.